Sometimes when I think about what happen in my life. I find that it s*** and i just pray hard that it would never happen again...never ever happen. The family problem that started when i was secondary one just makes me mad. What kind of nonsense is this. To tolerate & hide the pain within me. Within my sealed up heart. There's no room for me to grow. Everytime i tries to grow out of the terrible horrifying cage, I am being thrown back into that horrendous 4 walls.
Till now this madness aint over. This is the 6th year and that the year 2007 is coming so therefore the 7th year of pain is coming. What am I suppose to do. I cant do anything about it. I am being blame even for the slightest things. I hate going home because i knew I wont live in peace. Dad screaming away like a jerked up ass. Dad trying to rule over the entire universe. Well...what the Hell...WHy must we listen to your stupid senseless speech or command when you don treat us equally.
Just because you are in bad mood, it doesnt give you the permission to scream at us as and when you like!
You have never paid for my school fees...seriously you suck. you claim you gave us allowance, but it aint enough for a day. I always have to use my own savings or either get it from someone else. THis kinda life sucks... I hate it so much. It's just not me. I am not the kinda person whereby I love going around to borrow cash. It's stupid. I hate owing people cash.
I cant even save for goodness sake though i have savings. The allowance is just not enough. The allowance includes transport, 3 meals and the things i wanna buy.
Really not enough at all...I am going mad. I cant even complete my perc set. I need lots of things for music.
I am really scare that my sticks will spoil and I wont have cash to buy them.
My mum is the only one that is paying everything. NOt you! you only pay for things that you have a part in it. That's so selfish of You!
I regretted not sueing you!
I would have obviously won the case.
Why didnt I spare a thought for myself and the people around me!
Life sucks...Some friends I know sucks too...WTH is going on around my life. I can really understand and sympathize with people who experience the same thing too.
There are friends whereby they don take care of your items when you lend them.
Everytime when I am going somewhere, on the journey there, THis problems would just run through my mind all the time. I don know why I have all this running through my mind.
I realise 95% of the post i blog has nothing about happiness. Most of it is sadness, madness, patheticness...etc
Even if there are fun times, it would be one of the things I mention in the Sad, sorrow, pathetic, angered...etc post.
What is the point of blogging if everytime i blog about such stuff.
Maybe now i know why Zick didnt blog anymore.
I just retook my Aural paper today. I don even know whether will i pass. I really pray hard that i will. Halfway while I was doing the paper. The thought of the problems that I face from all side of my life came through my mind. Even when I was in High school, the problems will just come through my mind all the time.
Probably one day it will be better if I just dissipate into thin air. Everything will be gone from my life. No worries...Don even have to bother about friends...etc...problems...etc
This sucky life is tiring me out. I don know what to do. I can only move step by step as day goes by. I really hope that things will turn out fine for my family, friends and even myself. I hate to see people in such a dilemma and problems...etc
It's true that I am not the only one facing such kind of problems & that there are even worser case scnerios around this damage globe. But I am still one of the many millions out there suffering.
If only god could just not make human out of sand, soil...etc. Den probably all this pain, unhappiness, sorrow, anger...etc will not have taken place.
If only $$$ is only a very minor thing in our live, then people wont face financial problems.
If only all F*** up dad die a horrible death immediately, then families and friends wont face family problems.
If only everyone can live together in harmony, with only happy memories in our mind, then the world will be at peace. With NO stupid people thinking of war, nuclear, raping, murdering....etc
Demonic Sebastian
For you, I am willing to do anything.
For you, this has become part of my problem. Haiz...
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Soldier 
